Tick Tock?

Talking to Chad last week made me crystallize something that I had been thinking but hadn’t been able to articulate. Choosing a less conventional life than my upbringing – a late marriage, then divorce, no kids, large city, no suburbs – has meant more analysis and sometimes, more doubt. However, I’ve been happy, even after the turbulent bits. I know living married in the suburbs with children and a mini van isn’t for me.

But I believe there’s a glue to all that convention. Maybe it’s wrong, but I assume that wanting the convention, and not questioning it must make things—I think this is the word.—easier. It’s that you never had to decide whether children are a facet of your life. They are a given.

Because I’ve been getting bombarded with the maternal-clock question lately, I’ve been trying to figure out if mine is indeed ticking. Or even if there’s a mild hum. I’ve always been able to see the reasons why people have children. They give you a focus. Une raison d’être. And you love something more than yourself, which is ultimately good and settling.

For now I’m weighing those reasons.


About gwenamon

bookworm, confidante, creative director, cyclist, global wanderer, music lover, shutterbug, shoe shopper, snowboarder, writer, yoga geek. i'm also a very proud mama of a lil mister named james.
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