Monthly Madness

Yes, I’m referring to PMS. Premenstrual Syndrome. Pre-the period. Pre-the monthly. Pre-the visitor. Pre-the curse. Whatever you want to call it. It’s the word “pre” that’s very key to this post. I’m not posting to elaborate on what happens after the “pre.”

Rather I’m fascinated by PMS’s far-reaching fallout. Every woman I know is affected by varying degrees of insanity, each and every month. What’s more crazy is that it always sneaks up on us. I swear. It’s called PMS for good reason! Yet after twenty or so odd years, you’d think we’d know why we’re suddenly feeling more aggressive or thinking loco thoughts. But each month it’s a surprise. And we don’t like it one little bit. Personally I can’t believe I’ve been duped 12 times a year since I was 14-years-old, especially since I pride myself on being–so I like to think–pretty aware of my world.

I have a theory on why PMS can so stealthily approach. It doesn’t make me react to just anything. (OK, sometimes, just sometimes, I do. I remember getting in an argument over the way my partner was making fruit smoothies. One of my lamest monthly madnesses. And yes, I’m still duly embarrassed years later. So there.) Usually though, I’ll react only if something bugs me that would normally cause reaction. The important, very key thing is that I feel justified to react. It’s just that my reaction is intensified. Extremely so at times. I don’t suddenly feel nutso about just anything (fruit smoothies aside). It’s like an uninvited–for good reason–guest at your party who’s suddenly in your face and you just have to strike up awkward conversation.

When one of my friends (I won’t incriminate her.) was telling me her fallout story for the month, I thought of something I’d really like to have. By the way, there isn’t fallout every month. None of these things are definite. Another reason why it’s all so unpredictable. But what I thought of would definitely help with the unpredictability.

I’d like a tiny coloured chip. Think Logan’s Run. The chip would start to glow and then I’d have an in-my-face reminder that I have the potential to over-react. Just the potential. Remember, I don’t HAVE to behave badly and I’d have much less chance of doing so with the chip. Plus it’s not like it would be on constant orange alert. Its colour would have meaning, and turn on only at the appropriate “pre” time. Immediately I’d know that I may have to call in extra defenses on my emotional front.

However, only I could see the chip. Because there’s nothing worse than having reason to be upset and being asked, “Are you getting your period?” Ugh.

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About gwenamon

bookworm, confidante, creative director, cyclist, global wanderer, music lover, shutterbug, shoe shopper, snowboarder, writer, yoga geek. i'm also a very proud mama of a lil mister named james.
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